Everyone Is Traumatized. Many Do Nothing About it. This Is Why You Should UnTraumatize Yourself
Traumatized people traumatize their surroundings. If you feel comfortable with your own traumas, your surroundings might not be on the same page as you.
Letting go of trauma is crucial, if not for you than for your child, spouse, sibling, surroundings.
We all have different traumas. Most of them were formed during our childhood and a few of them during adulthood. We are never immune to trauma and it can happen at any age. But because in adulthood we are more conscious, we don’t get as easily traumatized as when we are younger.
“Childhood trauma is often described as serious adverse childhood experiences. Children may go through a range of experiences that classify as psychological trauma, these might include neglect, abandonment, sexual abuse, and physical abuse, parent or sibling is treated violently or there is a parent with a mental illness. These events have profound psychological, physiological, and sociological impacts and can have negative, lasting effects on health and well-being. Adverse childhood experiences determined that traumatic experiences during childhood are a root cause of many social, emotional, and cognitive impairments that lead to increased risk of unhealthy self-destructive behaviors, risk of violence or re-victimization, chronic health conditions, low life potential, and premature mortality.”
Although many times trauma happens from a big painful event, quite often it’s also the opposite. For example, If a person has critical parents, he or she might seek validation or feel like she’s not enough no matter what she has or how big of a success she achieves throughout her life. Seeking validation or not feeling enough is also a trauma response.
Children don’t blame their parents. When parents make a mistake, children always blame themselves. For them, their parents are a “save place” if they are “broken” it will cause substantial mental distress for them because feeling safe is innate. We need to feel a sense of belonging and that we are safe. So they just blame themselves instead. They think that the problem is in themselves when mom screams or dad drinks. Or even when parents are on their phones all day and don’t give their presence to kids, children think that they must not be interesting enough, since parents prefer to be on the phone rather than playing with them.
Imagine how many times our parents weren’t able to give us what we needed? Not because they are “bad”, but because they too were traumatized and did nothing to heal themselves. Some didn’t have tools, some awareness, and other strengths. There is no need for us to hold a grudge against our parents, we can see them as regular human beings like us with a lot of (if not even more) pain and struggle. But on the other hand, it isn’t minimizing your own pain. The fact that you see them as humans, with exact emotions, feelings, and pain as you have, doesn’t give you the healing you want.
You have no power over your parents. But you have power over you. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a parent with awareness to help them, see them, and encourage them to let their traumas go. All your traumas are your responsibility and only yours now. It’s your call to transform them. Yes, you got unwillingly traumatized as every single human being on earth, but you can willingly UNtraumatize yourself.
You can change the story of your life at any given moment. Only you can give yourself the healing you desire and deserve. You can choose what you want your story to be; A Victim or a Survivor; A Worrier or a Warrior.
For the volunteer victims- I see you “You got treated unfairly” but that story is already old my friend. Today is a new day and you aren’t a child anymore, you are a grown-up. You have full power over your life. You weren’t able to create the beginning but you can write the middle and the ending part of your story. You can also rewrite it as much as you can, as often as you want.
Why? Because you can and because you need to.
Why do you need to let go of your traumas? Traumas grow bigger as we get older. They will never disappear unless we consciously choose to let them go. It will hold you from living your fullest life. It will manifest itself in constant pain, anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, unhappiness, emotional dissatisfaction, addiction, gut problems, weak immune system, unfulfillment, etc. All those will happen so you get the signal that something is wrong and needs to be “fixed”. It’s how our body communicates with us. Traumas get stored in the body. “The energy of the trauma is stored in our bodies’ tissues (primarily muscles and fascia) until it can be released. This stored trauma typically leads to pain and progressively erodes a body’s health”. All these “symptoms” happen so that we wake up and become conscious and do the necessary work to heal the wounds. It happens because we need to stop living in our past and having negative/unconscious thoughts all the time. It’s a wake-up call. To wake up to the reality and to stop seeing your life as you want it to see it and start seeing it as it truly is.
For you to become who you truly are and not who you were supposed to be. All the “struggle” happens for you, not to you. For you to grow and become the best version of yourself and become the fullest expression of the nature of the universe. You need to become clean and clear from traumas and blockages, so the divine can manifest itself through you.
When you let go of the trauma and trauma responses you create space within your soul and the body to attract a new and better life. You will have space to become love and attract love, your body will be free from old blockages so you can live a healthier, happier life. You can’t put anything in a drawer full of clutter, so you cannot attract anything new into the body full of clutter.
Let the old self go and welcome the new you. Try to squeeze every bit of a drop from this delicious life. Do not waste your precious life, flourish in it!
Originally published at https://anirich.blog on January 7, 2021.