How to Show, Not Tell: The Subtle Art of Setting Boundaries for Women

Voltaire said that men argue, but nature acts. This can be applied to us women. We argue instead of acting. We have hour-long conversations with the men in our lives, telling them what we want from them and how they should act. We send paragraphs and some even scream and shout.

Well, I’ve observed that it never works. What works is being selfish and only doing what’s best for us. Who has time to raise a grown-up man?! Instead of arguing, let’s act. Show men — and not only men, but everyone in your life — show them when you are upset. Show them in the most subtle, self-respecting, beautiful way. And don’t show them because you want to teach a lesson to someone or prove a point. Show them because it happens naturally. When someone crosses your boundary and disrespects you, your behavior and how you feel about them change.

You respect yourself, you love yourself, you want the best for yourself, you want to feel at ease and be happy, and if anything or anyone interferes with that, it must go, or the behavior must change. Otherwise, it has no place in your life.

That’s what we call a high-value woman, the queen energy. In reality, all of these are just labels that we pay as much attention to as the “smoking kills” label on a cigarette.

All of these labels, simplified, mean just a woman with boundaries who respects others, their time, effort, and energy, and simply accepts the same. A woman who has values in general and doesn’t change her values to fit in or be liked. Who sticks with her values even in the most challenging times and situations.

A woman like that doesn’t scream, shout, or train people in her life with her words. She simply acts as she feels and knows she’s bringing value to someone else’s life and only accepts the same energy she gives.

You have to be the person you want other people to be for you. And when you are accepting less than you deserve, it becomes a crime.