Let’s Go Back to Childhood to Become More Courageous as Adults
Do you ever wonder why it was so easy to make friends when you were a child? (unless you were bullied, were very shy, or had a traumatic childhood experience you know what I’m talking about).
What do we see today? Majority of adults struggling to even say “hello” to each other.
Observe children. They go to the playground and suddenly everyone is playing together, they are all friends now.
Kids go to each other and take toys from each other so freely, they say hi, they hug and kiss each other, they invite other kids to play with them.
Now, the grown-ups have the thinking mind. Ahh, how I wish everyone knew they don’t have to believe their thoughts, well most of them. We get the good ones too, the helpful thoughts.
We have fear. We believe the fearful thoughts, to be more accurate. We are afraid of not fitting in, we are afraid of not belonging and most importantly we are afraid of rejection more than anything else in this life.
For our primitive brain rejection means death. If a tribesman rejected someone it meant that they would have no support and community anymore, that they now have to live alone, survive alone, stay safe alone, which was almost impossible. It literally was worse than death for a human being.
We might not be afraid of surviving in the woods alone anymore, but the fear of rejection is still with us. There have been many studies that prove that loneliness literally kills a human being. People really die from rejection and loneliness. But now we get rejected and feel lonely on daily basis. Someone says no to going on a date with you, you didn’t get the job you wanted, many people, in general, feel lonely because they don’t have communities anymore and etc…
Well, kids live as they feel. They cry when they want to and laugh when they feel joy. They hug someone when they want to hug and push away anyone that doesn’t serve them at that moment. They eat when they are hungry and eat as much as they need and want.
Grown-ups live in their head rather than living in their bodies. We have all these social and gender norms now, adults are already conditioned. They think and think and think and overthink. First, they think, and then they try to act, but that voice in the head never stops giving us all the reasons why we shouldn’t try what we want to and go for what our intuition tells us to go for. The voice in our mind which is called thinking will always give you all the reasons why you shouldn’t pursue something. And to tell you the truth that is also our brain’s ability to keep us safe.
Our brain is still operating on a primitive level. We needed to stay safe so our brain had to give us all the scenarios from where the lion might jump out and eat us. We needed to go through all the possible danger scenarios to keep ourselves safe.
That’s what our mind is trying to do, just to make us aware of what might go wrong so we are prepared. It doesn’t happen for us to believe that every worst-case scenario will become true, which is what people do. The thing that had to be a tool for us to achieve even better results, by becoming aware of all the possible ways things could go wrong, is keeping us from taking any action whatsoever. We are so fearful that we might fail, or get rejected that we stay in our bubble forever and never try to even put a toe outside of the borders of our comfort zone.
It isn’t that scary to talk to people. They are just regular human beings with the same fear of rejection that you are. 9 out of 10 people will talk to you back if your intention to get to know them is pure and is bringing value.
If you feel connected to someone’s energy you just met let them know and try to befriend that person. We don’t have to be born and die with the same set of friends we got in high school or college. You can have as many friends as you want to. All you need to have is a kind heart, pure intentions and you just have to open your mouth and talk as you feel.
If you think a guy is handsome or a girl beautiful just let them know. Don’t try to find the best ways to get to know them, because there aren’t any. Just open your mouth and say whatever comes out first and comes out naturally, from the heart. And if you say something that you cringe just own it. It won’t matter in a few hours, days, or months, so why worry about it?! You can even share that you feel a little uncomfortable. We don’t have to be this cool person who has everything figured out. We don’t have to wear some type of social mask. All we have to do is to be the best version of ourselves and let people know you and know more about people.
We become more loving by practicing to love as many people as we can as much as we are able to. We become more courageous by practicing to be courageous. You start talking to human beings freely, by practicing to talk to them as much as you can as often as you can.
Become selfless in giving. We have enough takers in the world. Open up your heart connect to your inner wisdom and try to bring value to people around you by every word you say and every action you take.
Only by connecting to your true self within can you form real, deep connections to other human beings.
Originally published at https://anirich.blog on January 21, 2021.